3 years and running…

Yesterday my daughter turned 3. She didn’t really get into the birthday thing until we told her she got a present and then she was all over it. All I could think was my baby was growing up and before I know it she will be a mother herself.

I am in awe of my daughter. I think she is the smartest 3 year old ever..but then I could be biased. She is like a parrot and it has made me watch my language a whole lot more than I used to. She loves to sing, badly, but man does she love it. For a toddler she is a gentle and loving sister having only tried to smother her brother once. In her defence she was only trying to help by making him stop crying.

I love my monkey and my little lion man and I am absolutely the luckiest Mother to have these two animals in my life.

Looking for the snip

Well unexpectedly we found our selves expecting….and have welcomed a very handsome little boy to our family.  With the million dollar family taken care of we don’t want to find ourselves unexpectedly expecting yet again.  So the discussion of permanent birth control has been the topic in our house.

I have been pushing for him to go get snipped as it would be less invasive and a quicker heal and procedure than for me to go in and get “fixed”.  This has lead to many a discussion about his “manhood” and how it will make him feel less like a man.  My argument is that I have given birth to two children, one which I might add was NOT a newborn but a 2 month old pretending to be a newborn….38 inch head…..and all he had to do was have fun so he can get snipped.

What are your thought and arguments for or against the man getting permanently “fixed”

A new year…what a ride!

Tonight I had the unfortunate pleasure of working instead of spending it with Unexpected Dad and my Monkey. But all things aside at least I didn’t make an ass out of myself.

The past year has brought a lot of changes to our life (A DISHWASHER AND TUBS). It was a mostly good year with some ups and downs but mostly ups. So I sit here thinking about the upcoming year and what I hope to see it bring (I need to unwind as I just walked in the door).

One of the things I hope for is that Monkey starts to eat better. Don’t get me wrong she eats…just what she wants and nothing else. This makes it difficult to balance her diet as she won’t eat meat, is picky about vegetables, and will only eat cheese slices. Now give her chocolate and man that kid gobbles it down…maybe I should cover everything in chocolate.

I also hope for stronger stability in our finances. We don’t struggle but it would be nice to go somewhere warm next year instead of thinking about it and saying next year.

If my job could be more interesting or engaging that would be great but the best would be if I won the lottery…now here’s to hoping!

But most of all I wish for happiness. Not just for me and those I love but for everyone. Happiness in who you are and where you are going. Joy in the little things like a naked 2 year old bum running away from you giggling. Stop worrying about the past as it can’t be changed and you accomplish nothing but dwelling on it. Look to the future and if it seems bleak CHANGE something as nothing is handed to you on a platter…except maybe the lottery. Dream big but also dream realistically. But most of all Love yourself for you can’t love anyone without loving you first.

Happy New Year’s and may this year bring you the blessing of happiness.

The power of one

Today I read an inspiring story. 30 years ago a man started to plant seeds in a sandbar near where he lived, he continued to nurture and plant seeds despite being told nothing will grow there. Now there is a lush green jungle housing many animals and enriching the ecosystem in that area. All because of one man!

In todays day and age, especially in the industrialized world, we moan and groan about how one person can’t and won’t make a difference.  Change doesn’t have to be as large as foresting a whole area, it can be as small as making a small choice.  Something as small as turning down the heat by 1 or 2 degrees.  Change is always scary and we may not notice the effects right away but they are there, especially if everyone makes a small change.

In an effort to make an impact however small unexpected dad and I made the choice to cloth diaper. He was disgusted with the idea at first until I told him that we WON’T be cleaning the diapers ourselves.  I did research and decided I was going to hire a diaper service.  Happy Nappy diaper service is AMAZING.  You don’t have to do anything but change your babies bum and throw the dirty diaper in a bag they provide, put the bag out once a week and VIOLA clean diapers arrive at your door and the dirty ones are gone.  I have also NEVER run out of diapers EVER!  This means there are that there are less diapers going to the landfill and endangering workers lives.

This is a small thing that we do but I like to think that it helps make and impact.  What are you doing that may be small but is making an impact?

The darker side of seperation

Recently a friend of mine left his wife of 8 years because of suspected cheating and the fact that most of the money that he made last year is gone and can’t be accounted for.

Unfortunately there are 3 children mixed up in the ugliness. 13, 5, and 3 are the ages and true to form for most relationships that go sour the children are being used as pawns.

I understand bitterness that the relationship that you said “till death do us part” is now done, but what do the children have to do with this? They are innocent in all of this and yet one parent will deny the other from seeing 2 of the children just because. This DISGUSTS me!

When parents use their children to try and hurt the other it hurts NO ONE but the children. They are sponges and by reacting and acting this way you are now laying the groundwork for ALL relationships to come for them. Putting your child in the middle and pretty much telling them that it is them or me that you love is selfish. Thay are both parents of that child.

I will say that if abuse, whether physical, emotional, or sexual, is the reason that you are leaving the spouse than the abuser has NO RIGHTS. Again the children are your first and foremost concern.

I think that too many people are having children for the wrong reasons. Not to say that our little monkey was planned but with the knowledge that we were bringing a life into this world also came the knowledge and acceptance that the life we had been living is now over. Our new lives were just beginning. Please think about that before you decide to have a child. Children DO NOT save your marriage or relationship!! Children make it harder to connect with your partner as so much time is consumed by them.

I love my daughter and would not trade her in for the world. She is my all! If me and unexpected dad ever did split, not one bad word would pass my lips in regards to him. He is her Daddy! The one to kiss the boo boos, scare the monsters, and give her airplane rides. He will be the one to stand sternly by the door as she goes on her first date, teach her how to drive, and be the example of the man she will tend to lean towards in all of her relationships. Just because I didn’t love him anymore doesn’t mean she feels the same.

My Baby Girl is growing up

Nalani turned one earlier this month, it was a great and sad time. Sad because it means my little girl is growing up.

Just 3 days ago she took her first 4 unsupported steps.  Needless to say we were excited and so was she.  There is nothing like watching you baby walking to you with excitement sparkling in her eye with her mouth wide open and her tounge hanging out in concentration.  We were so busy being excited and getting her to walk back and forth between us that we didn’t take any pictures.

It is amazing watching her learn and grow but makes me want to cry.  I want to cry because I know that in a few years I will be getting the eye rolls and the MOOOOOOMMM’s from her.  Right now I am the most amazing person in her life and I would like to keep it that way.

It is also giving me baby fever…I am going to miss the cuddling that Nalani and I used to do.  We still cuddle but she is so interested in moving and exploring that we don’t cuddle for long.  I wish I had a pause button to keep her at this moment for a little while longer.

What is your favorite age for your children?

Comparisons

I hear other parents talking about there little ones all the time.  The advice flies fast and furious but also the comparisons of our children.

My daughter is 10 days older than another little girl that I know.  Apparently my little girl is “behind” in her progress.  Nalani is still learning to walk and will only say Mom when she is upset and needs some loving and Daddy when he gets home from work.  The other little girl has 5 or 6 words in her vocabulary and is progressing at a faster rate.

This used to bother me but now I realize that my daughter just likes to take her time.  Nalani is her own person, she is not your daughter or anyone else’s she is mine.  I choose not to push her in her learning process as she will get there at her own pace.  I would be concerned if she WASN’T learning, but everyday she learns something new.  Sometimes I wish she wouldn’t learn the things that she does.

The things I do with my daughter encourage her to learn.  I try to read to her daily, the key word here is try as she likes to grab her books and chew on them.  As long as she is interested in books at this point I really don’t care if it is chewing, flipping the pages, or me reading to her.  I let her grab my hands and take me for a walk.  She will hold an object up for me to look at and I will tell her what it is, the shape, and the colour.  We play games and sing all of which help her learn while making her laugh.  Her laughter is what I strive for, her knowledge that I love her to me is more important than how many words she can speak or how fast she learnt to walk.

Our children are unique human beings.  They are not you or anyone else’s child.  Encourage their curiosity and realize that sometimes they may fall behind.  Falling behind doesn’t make them stupid it just makes them who they are, amazing little people discovering their new world.

Remembering

The new year got off with a bang but not in the way one would hope it would.  On the first we found out that Nalanis Great Grandma passed away.

Great Grandma was so excited to learn that her first grandchild was giving her the first great grandchild.  She cried on the phone when she found out.  I had never met the lady, but knowing how important she was to Dave we made plans to head out to Toronto so that she would be able to meet Nalani.

May came quickly after Nalani was born and we were on our way.  It was a great visit and G.Grandma cried, Nalani did to everytime G.Grandma picked her up.  It was what we had hoped for, the ability for both of them to meet before time ran out.  Nalani won’t remember meeting her but at least we can say she did.

It is always hard when a loved one passes away whether it is expected or unexpected.  I know we will celebrate and remember the life of a wonderful lady while mourning the fact that she is no longer with us.

Bring on 2012

Today is New Years Eve and as I write this I can’t help but look back on 2011 with awe.  It was an amazing chaotic wonderful year!  2011 brought me my beautiful daughter Nalani, my boyfriend finally got the courage to propose, some wonderful new friends, and many other things.  2011 taught me what it means to unconditionally love, to forgive the little things and work on forgiving the big ones.

As our family prepares to greet 2012 I can’t help but wonder what surprises are in store for us this year.  All I know is as long as we have our health, our happiness, and each other we are in store for another wonderful year.

May your New Year be full of blessings and joys this coming year!  Happy New Year!!!

Joys and tribulations

I find myself looking back on the year and trying to come to terms with the fact that I am returning to work in less than a month.  I never thought I would enjoy parenthood as much as I have.

Nalani is growing into an amazing (troublesome) little girl.  Watching her eyes light up as she learns something new is the most amazing thing to witness.  She is into everything and loving every minute of it, until you take it away.  I decided to start this blog to capture my thoughts as she grows.  Hopefully it can provide some insight and humor into those OMG moments.  You know the ones, changing a diaper and suddenly things flow.

Feel free to comment and share, we are all learning as we go even you parents who have more than one child learn everyday as no two children are the same.