Look at that Smile

Today Unexpected Dad watched Monkey while our Little Lion was napping in his bassinet in our room.  I was feeling stressed so taking my brain candy with me I drew myself a nice hot bath and I relaxed.

Eventually all good things come to an end and Little Lion woke up.  Surprisingly he didn’t start screaming as if he was dying like he usually does but had a conversation with his feet (I am assuming this as his feet are his favorite thing to talk to).  I start the process of getting out of the bath and dressed so I can go get him when Monkey comes running into the room right up to his bassinet (she didn’t climb in with him this time) and all I can hear coming out of her mouth is “look at that smile….look at that smile…your so handsome…look at that smile” over and over again.  Holy crap she really does listen…just not when I want her to.

My Monkey is amazing!  She LOVES her brother and will do anything to make him laugh and smile.  This is a gift that I appreciate and take advantage of…cooking dinner is MUCH easier when she is entertaining him because he is happy and she isn’t in the kitchen yelling “my turn” and reaching for the knife to help cut up whatever I am chopping at that moment.

Your children listen, be careful of what you say as it will eventually come out of their mouths as well.

3 years and running…

Yesterday my daughter turned 3. She didn’t really get into the birthday thing until we told her she got a present and then she was all over it. All I could think was my baby was growing up and before I know it she will be a mother herself.

I am in awe of my daughter. I think she is the smartest 3 year old ever..but then I could be biased. She is like a parrot and it has made me watch my language a whole lot more than I used to. She loves to sing, badly, but man does she love it. For a toddler she is a gentle and loving sister having only tried to smother her brother once. In her defence she was only trying to help by making him stop crying.

I love my monkey and my little lion man and I am absolutely the luckiest Mother to have these two animals in my life.

Losing my mind.

My monkey is driving me NUTS!!! She doesn’t cry she yells “WAAAAAA” then pokes her eyes and pulls her eyelashes to create tears. I just want to strangle her when she does this as it is more irritating than if she were to just cry outright.

We have been fighting about bedtime and brushing our teeth and pretty much EVERYTHING! She cries more than my handsome little man who is 3 months old.

When will this end? What did you do to help with it?

Making the choice…

Breast is best.  This is thrown at new moms over and over again.  Doctors, Nurses, Formula companies, even other moms throw this at new moms.  But is it?

Ask the mom that MUST take medication just so that she can walk and if she were to breastfeed she would POSION her child, ask her if breast is best.  Or the mom that is so sick after a very difficult pregnancy that she can’t produce milk, ask her.  Or the mom that has Post Partum Depression so bad she can barely look at her child let alone think about putting her baby to her breast to feed it, ask her.  Breast is not best, feeding your child is best. 

Forcing your beliefs upon other moms because that is what works for you and what you believe in just undermines that mother who has chosen or had chosen for her that formula is what is best for her and her child.  In the long run feeding your child is more important than whether it is breast of formula.

Mothers need to start supporting each other instead of beating one another up for choosing a different path than what you would choose.  Stop saying Breast is best and start saying Feeding your baby is best.

The little people

So over the last little while I have been wondering if I should continue….I mean do people really want to know what I have rambling around in my head especially as I am random.  I swear I am like Dug in the movie UP…squirrel!

I want to keep this about the unexpectedness of being a Mom to an AMAZING daughter.  But that is not all I am.  Charity is something I wholeheartedly support.  If you are doing well then you should give back.  And then I just want to rant about stupidity….

Last night I got to work an event that the NDP were putting on.  I was paid to be there so let us be clear on that.  During the course of a plated dinner for over 300 people (which is not that easy) I had 3 complaints about the food, the lack of coffee, multiple requests for stuff that was not part of thie dinner and so on and so on.  I am pretty easygoing and not easily ruffled…5 years at a casino will do that.  HOWEVER the girl next to me had a couple that were so rude they made her cry.

I don’t know about you but the thought that your supporters are so rude that they would make a young woman cry because the coffee wasn’t hot enough for you does NOT make me want to vote for your party.  You purport the support of the little people…well who is littler than the server WORKING YOUR FUNCTION? 

And that is my vent on stupidity!

To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate…that is the question.

Recently a one month old baby in Lethbridge, AB Canada died from Pertussis (whooping-cough).  This is a preventable disease that is rarely seen in Canada but has recently seen 42 patients this year diagnosed with the disease in Alberta alone.  This is alarming!  Especially since infants under the age of 3 months have little to no defence against the disease and account for 90% of all deaths

VARN (Vaccination Risk Awareness Network) is a group that believes that vaccinations are unhealthy for anyone to undertake.  They will argue that subjecting your body or the body of your children to the chemicals in the vaccinations are what is causing autism, ADHD, allergies, and a whole list of other complaints. 

Andrew Jeremy Wakefield was the leading doctor in the whole controversy of how the MMR (Measles, Mumps, Rubella) shot caused autism.  However this has been debunked.  The only thing that they can medically connect to the vaccination is the fact that children that all ready have an immune or metabolic condition are affected.  It is like the straw that broke the camels back when it comes to these children.

 Just because a disease is eradicated or nearly so here in North America does not make you safe.  People travel to third world countries all the time where the disease is rampant and become carriers.  This introduces the disease back into our society.  In 2010 alone 91,689 cases of Pertussis were reported worldwide according to WHO.

I for one will continue to get my family immunized.  The idea that by not doing so I might have to watch someone I love wheeze and gasp for breath due to them contracting Pertussis is not something I am willing to take a chance on happening.

The darker side of seperation

Recently a friend of mine left his wife of 8 years because of suspected cheating and the fact that most of the money that he made last year is gone and can’t be accounted for.

Unfortunately there are 3 children mixed up in the ugliness. 13, 5, and 3 are the ages and true to form for most relationships that go sour the children are being used as pawns.

I understand bitterness that the relationship that you said “till death do us part” is now done, but what do the children have to do with this? They are innocent in all of this and yet one parent will deny the other from seeing 2 of the children just because. This DISGUSTS me!

When parents use their children to try and hurt the other it hurts NO ONE but the children. They are sponges and by reacting and acting this way you are now laying the groundwork for ALL relationships to come for them. Putting your child in the middle and pretty much telling them that it is them or me that you love is selfish. Thay are both parents of that child.

I will say that if abuse, whether physical, emotional, or sexual, is the reason that you are leaving the spouse than the abuser has NO RIGHTS. Again the children are your first and foremost concern.

I think that too many people are having children for the wrong reasons. Not to say that our little monkey was planned but with the knowledge that we were bringing a life into this world also came the knowledge and acceptance that the life we had been living is now over. Our new lives were just beginning. Please think about that before you decide to have a child. Children DO NOT save your marriage or relationship!! Children make it harder to connect with your partner as so much time is consumed by them.

I love my daughter and would not trade her in for the world. She is my all! If me and unexpected dad ever did split, not one bad word would pass my lips in regards to him. He is her Daddy! The one to kiss the boo boos, scare the monsters, and give her airplane rides. He will be the one to stand sternly by the door as she goes on her first date, teach her how to drive, and be the example of the man she will tend to lean towards in all of her relationships. Just because I didn’t love him anymore doesn’t mean she feels the same.

Hi Ho Hi Ho off to work I went!

Today is the first day of my weekend.  Last week was my first week back to work.  We had thought about me staying at home and being a full time mom, which I would have loved!  Unfortunately like a lot of families we need the two incomes to make it work for our family.  We were lucky though, we didn’t have to put our little monkey in daycare or a day home.  Grandpa watches her everyday and loves the time spent with her.

I miss my little princess and the time we would be spending together but I kind of missed having a life outside of being a mom.  The first day was the worst, thankfully I didn’t cry.  The week went well but I am sure grateful for my weekend and the time I get to spend with my monkey.

She learns so much everyday and I am missing it.  Soon she will be walking on her own and I won’t be the first one that she will be walking to, or even the first person to see it.  It is tough making the decision on whether or not to work, personally I admire and am jealous of those woman who get to be stay at home moms.

I hear all the time about how as liberated woman when we choose to stay at home and raise our families we are hurting all that woman have fought for.  I disagree!  Woman fought for the right to vote, to work, but most importantly the right to choose!  If a mother chooses to stay at home and be the guiding light for her children she is no less liberated than the mother that chooses to go back to work.  Why must one choice be better than the other?

I know some woman that went BATTY the whole time they were on Mat leave and others that bawled everyday the first week of going back to work.  Each person is an individual and we should accept that.  So next time you see a stay at home mom or a working mom remember they made the decision that was best for them and their family and you have no right to judge that choice.

Extended Family

Parenting is a hard job, one that you need support from your significant other, extended family, and friends.  Without that support system you slowly lose your mind.  They are the ones you call on when you need to make that doctors appointment and the idea of having a screaming child with you is beyond bearable.  They are your sanity and your saving grace.

They are also an alternative for your child to confide in.  We all hope that our children will view us as someone they can talk to when they are confused, excited, in love, unsure and all of it.  It is more likely though that your children will be more comfortable with an Aunt, Uncle, Grandmother, Grandfather, or some other significant person in their life.

That said I don’t understand why people choose to cut out the extended family of children especially when they are in a blended family just because the stepparent doesn’t like a person.  It is not the person you are cutting out of your child’s life that you are hurting it is the child who ultimately pays.

Thankfully there is a law in Alberta (not sure about the rest of Canada) called Right of Contact.  As a Grandparent you can apply to the courts for contact with your Grandchild.  If you are an Aunt, Uncle, or someone else significant in the child’s life there is another route you can take.  Your first step is to apply to the courts for the right to apply for Right of Contact.  Once you get that you can apply for contact.

It is sad that in this day and age when so many children are suffering from a lack of interest in their lives and act out in self-destructive ways, that parents will choose to cut out someone in the child’s life that loves that child and who has reciprocating love back.  For selfish reasons a lot of children are denied access to their extended family due to a fight between the adults that in no way involves them.

Adults need to start thinking like adults and move on from High School.  Once you have children your life stops being just about you and what makes you happy.  It becomes you, and your significant other (if there is one), but most importantly it becomes about your children.  Take into consideration the needs of the child and what is in THEIR best interest, not just about what makes you happy.

Petite eater

Nalani was born a healthy 7 lb 14 oz.  Her weigh ins placed her in the 50th percentile right up until she learned the joys of movement.  From the moment she started to army crawl across the floor to now as she learns to walk she dropped from the 50th to the 20th percentile.  Because of this drop we have made monthly visits to her doctor to keep an eye on her weight and to make sure she is still gaining.

During one of these visits we were given papers to go get blood work taken to make sure nothing else was affecting her weight gain.  Now I don’t like getting blood taken, but to have to pin your child down while she screams so that they can get blood out of her tiny little arm….I will never complain about my bloodwork again.  Thank goodness all the blood work came back just fine.  My little girl is petite.  We make our monthly visits and get her weighed to find out each month that she has put on 1/2 a pound each time.

This used to concern me.  Was I feeding her enough, was she getting the right nutrition, am I doing something wrong??  Until I stopped and thought back to when the slow weight gain began.  Nalani is a mover!!!  Sitting still is not in her repertoire.  From the moment she wakes until her naps and bedtime she is on the go.  The joy she gets just chasing me around the house as I go about my day makes me laugh.

I feed her 3 meals a day and provide her with snacks as well as her formula (she is still under 1).  She eats as she wills and I won’t force her to eat anything.  I want her to have a good relationship with food not a negative one.  By making sure she is eating healthy and getting 3 meals a day I have noticed a difference in my eating habits as well.  I make better choices now as what she sees me eat is what she wants to eat.  So if I don’t want her to have something I don’t eat it in front of her.  Don’t get me wrong we have made some bad food choices but those are not a daily occurance.  Maybe 3 times a month we have a “treat” and eat some McDonalds or the likes.

So now when we go in to get her weighed I know in my own heart that no matter what the scale says she is perfectly healthy.  My active little girl would not be the bright eyed bushy tailed little trouble maker that she is if she wasn’t getting enough to eat.